I’m so relieved that I passed my ‘Maintenance of Wakefullness Test’ last week so I can get back to flying.
For those of you that may not know, I took my flight physical last February, and the FAA decided I had not had the proper test to verify that my CPAP machine is working to relieve my Sleep Apnea (which it has for 37,800 sleeping hrs so far) and wanted something done called the ‘Maintenance of Wakefulness’ test. So, no flying until the FAA is happy. The new slogan of the FAA is, “We’re not happy until you’re not happy.”
You go into a bedroom and sit up on the bed for 20 minutes, wired to an EEG machine to see if you can stay awake with no stimulus. No talking, no singing, no figgiting, and ‘keep your eyes open!’
WAIT! That’s not all! Then you get up and walk around for an hour and a half and go back in AGAIN!
WAIT! Then you do it again 20 Minutes – 1 1/2 hrs – 20 minutes – 1 1/2 hrs – 20 minutes ALL DAMN DAY! – until you have five (5) samples.
I think this is a violation of Article 3 of the Geneva Accords, or something. Somebody call the UN!
Anyway, I managed to stay awake. ‘Nuff Said.
Tried to explain this at church yesterday when folks get up to say what they are celebrating – birthday, anniversary, amputation, whatever.
When I said ‘staying awake for 20 minutes,’ the Priest was puzzled and said, “Staying awake for 20 minutes?”
I said, “Yeah, – like for staying awake for two (2) sermons.”
Thought I’d get a laugh – that’s that thinkin’ thing again. Lead balloon.